Facebook Is For Amateurs

My brother once (and only once) wisely said, "Friendships define your life. You keep the ones you want to keep." And then he may have belched and fallen asleep. In any case, I believe he was as right as rain. We've had long discussions about how our family was never very good at keeping friendships. Life got busy, our parents were constantly either working or tired, so we didn't see them connect with many people when we were kids. Sadly, we inherited that trait into early adulthood. We moved from job to job, started new friendships and watched many of them fall by the wayside. It never really bothered us much, not until recently.

I look back at my parents' lives and wonder how so much of things that went wrong could've been different had they been surrounded with solid friendships. Troubles are shared, as is joy. You bounce ideas off one another. You do a very healthy thing on a regular basis... you laugh out loud. These are not things to view lightly. I've been better in 2010 than in previous years with my guy friends. I call them on their birthdays. I send gifts that have meaning. I write manly thank you cards with photos of vintage race cars on them. But I can be better.

Granted, we have all had our friends that fit into certain categories. I'll use cartoon characters to "illustrate" the point. One of my best friends, a staid and completely reliable friend, a true man of honor who can also crush you with his bare hands, I'll call "Captain America." He's the one you call when you're in trouble. Another friend can be very entertaining to have around at a party but tends to emote too much and call you when his diaper needs changing. Him, I'll refer to as "Baby Huey." You get the idea. What I'm trying to communicate is that friends take all forms. Regardless, a man must choose to be close to his friends, not just over a football game and an econo-sized bag of Fritos but throughout life. It takes contact, phone calls, connecting over a good scotch and a cigar, a good banter over a game of golf and, yes, showing up to births, funerals and all the important things in between. You can work your a$$ off at your job, but that doesn't speak volumes for your character when it's time for you to say goodbye to this earth.

Your friends define you.

Resolution #1:  At least once per month, I will spend quality time connecting with my closest friends through a phone call, a drink and a stogie, good food or some form of true man-time and make a point of asking how they're doing... and I will wait for their answer.