Sometimes, I Just Need To Be Kicked In The Shawshanks

When you're a single man for over three decades, suffice it to say that you allow yourself nearly unlimited Moron Points (we'll call them MPs, for short) on a daily basis. You forget friends' birthdays, you don't floss regularly, you go to a dinner party without bringing a bottle of wine or flowers, you often eat things off the floor. No one dies, but you don't exactly move up the suave chain. Heck, you don't even really keep count of your MPs because you often don't particularly care. Even if you're a pretty together kind of guy, you still pull plenty of dumb stunts. The MP supply gets somewhat diminished when you start dating seriously, and that supply further dwindles once you tie the knot. Ask any married guy. He'll tell you, "Man, I miss those."

It is said that marriage is a mirror for you to see your own flaws. Whoever said that first was right. He should also be punched in the chest. In 2010, I began to see all the ways that I have given myself license to be stupid. Now, I don't advocate changing just to please your spouse. That's a slippery slope, and no one can be all things to his or her spouse, so don't start doing it all now. But  real change is good. Real change is a character builder, and you want to be the kind of man your kids look up to and that your wife adores. Plus, let's be honest. A man's got to not just have his standards. He's got to strive to live up to them, too. So, this is where my journey begins. Of course, I stand with just about everyone else in the consensus that resolutions suck. It means you have to keep track of stuff and you can't sleep in on a daily basis. But as Andy Dufresne said in The Shawhank Redemption, "Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." Okay, that still sounds dumb, but you get the general idea.

Over the next few days, I'll put together a list. A very specific list of five or six key areas in my life that I'll track every day of 2011. If you're bored out of your skull, you'll join me for the ride and hopefully be inspired to take some steps of your own.

Resolutions suck, but so does my inclination to improve myself. Time to pummel the sloth.